Who Wants To Be A Seiryu Seishi?
by Serendipity1
Summary: Seiryu decides to hold interviews for his seishi job opening. What kind of weirdos...I mean...interesting characters...will show up? This'll teach him to not let Genbu put out flyers. (FINISHED)
1. It Begins

Who Wants To Be A Seiryu Seishi?  
  
  
  
Seiryu sat back on his chair and took a sip from his coffee mug. Today was the day. The big day   
to begin choosing his celestial warriors. He just hoped the flyers were distributed properly...  
  
Somewhere in ancient China, Genbu finished randomly throwing flyers to the wind. " Pretty..."   
he declared, as he watched them flutter off on the breeze. Byakko began to bang his head   
repeatedly against a mountain.  
  
Right. As long as the flyers were distributed properly, all would be well. He took a few minutes   
for a maniacal laugh. " And I shall win my very own extra large box of almond pocky!" he yelled   
melodramatically, waving his hand in the air. For you see, Suzaku and Seiryu had made a little bet   
on the outcome of this particular celestial battle, and Seiryu was very fond of almonds.  
  
" Bring on the warriors!" he declared happily, slamming down his coffee mug and ignoring the   
brown puddle of caffeine on his desk. Gods had no need to fear staining, for they had their very   
own maids. Their very own...very frightening maids with short tempers and large brooms. He   
surreptitiously wiped at the spot.  
  
The door opened slowly and a shapely woman with a red pigtail stepped in. " Yo," she said,   
crossing her arms. " I heard there was some sort of job opening. Something about warriors." She   
held out a very misused flyer. " I couldn't read it very well, " she explained, waving the paper a bit   
to illustrate her point.  
  
" Ah." Said Seiryu, wondering if all the flyers were as messy as this one. ' Curse you Byakko and   
Genbu! Curse you and all your warriors!'   
  
And so it came to pass that all the Byakko and Genbu warriors were cursed. Funny how things   
turn out when you're a god, eh? Can't even say 'damn you' without the person you were directing   
the curse at falling straight to hell.  
  
" Well," he started, clearing his throat. " What is your special ability?"  
  
" I can turn into a girl when splashed with cold water."  
  
"You are already a girl."  
  
" No, I'm usually a boy. We ran out of hot water this morning."  
  
Seiryu raised an eyebrow. " Uh-huh. And that's your special ability, is it?"  
  
" I also have uncommon skill at martial arts. And an odd knack for picking up fiancées."  
  
" Right. Well, do you have any psychoses? Any funny little personality flaw? Like homicidal   
tendencies or a love of make-up?"  
  
" No, perfectly normal. Except, of course, for the turning female when dipped in cold water   
thing."  
  
Seiryu felt disappointed. " None at all?" he persisted.  
  
" I have a takoyaki fetish."  
  
He slumped in his chair. Nope, not quirky enough. " I'll call you." He said, pulling a string that   
opened a very predictable trap door, which dumped the poor gender-switching fool into some   
swamp out in the jungle.  
  
" Next!" he yelled.  
  
A loud crashing sound, followed by a few choice obscenities. Seiryu raised an eyebrow once   
again as a string of curses echoed from the hallway. Finally, a red-haired man stomped in,   
carrying a metal tessen.   
  
" -censored- piece of -censored- -censored- said I could -censored censored-." He said, by way   
of explanation. " -censored-" he added apologetically.  
  
" Erm...no problem." Seiryu never knew that you could make up half a sentence with curse   
words. He filed away for future reference. It might come in handy on Monopoly night.  
  
" So," he began, eying the red-head as though he might explode at any moment. " What is your   
special ability..."  
  
" -censored-"  
  
" Besides your remarkable ability to use at least five obscenities in a single sentence."  
  
" I can throw fire from my tessen." He said, holding the metal, fanlike object like one might hold a   
teddy bear or security blanket.  
  
" Are you a pyromaniac then?"  
  
" No, I just like my tessen. My nice, shiny, metal tessen..." The man trailed off and drooled   
slightly as he stared at his weapon of choice with reverence.  
  
Seiryu sweatdropped. " Uh-huh." He muttered. " Well, lets see about your evilness level."  
  
" My what? -censored-?"  
  
" Your evilness level. Would you kill innocent people?"  
  
" -censored- No!"  
  
" Well, I'm sorry then. How about you try the room down the hall? They're applying for warriors   
too."  
  
He'd love to see the look on Suzaku's face when this weirdo showed up. The guy couldn't stand   
swearing of any kind. He felt sorry for the poor pyromaniac though.  
  
Of course, a few months later, he'd be incredibly shocked to see that the profane pyro made it   
onto Suzaku's little team. It was probably the fire-throwing thing. Suzaku also had a little fire   
obsession. But hey, he's a phoenix, it's normal.  
  
" Next!" roared the dragon god. He'd only gone through two would-be seishi and he was already   
getting a headache.  
  
The door was ripped open by a giant metal humanoid robot.   
  
Seiryu paused, blinked, reminded himself that he was immortal and did not have to worry about   
being stomped out of existence by a huge metal foot. " Ah..." he said, regaining his ability of   
speech. " And who might you be?"  
  
A door opened, revealing a compartment in the midsection of the machine in which sat a boy with   
untidy brown hair and tight spandex shorts. " Code name: Heero Yuy. Mission: Inquire about job   
opening on this flyer." at this the boy raised his hand and revealed the ' Help Wanted' flyer.   
  
" Uh-huh." Where in the nine hells were Byakko and Genbu spreading those flyers?  
  
Elsewhere, Genbu was tossing flyers directly into a time warp, laughing happily as he did so.   
Byakko smacked a paw to his head and muttered into it.  
  
" So...what are your special abilities. You know, throwing fire, psychic powers, etc.?"  
  
" I have a giant robot."  
  
" Riiight. Any special, un-human abilities?"  
  
" I can pull guns from my spandex space."  
  
" ...I'll consider it." He pulled the string again and made the bishie-dump. " NEXT!" he yelled,   
while wondering what to do with the giant metal man.  
  
In strolled a blond man, who was being glomped by both a red-haired woman and a man with too   
much time on his hands and probably a years supply of make-up.   
  
" And you are?"  
  
" I am Nakago."  
  
" And who are your extra appendages?"  
  
The 'extra appendages' clamped on to Nakago even tighter, muttering "Nakago-sama."  
  
' Nakago-sama' sweatdropped. " Ah," he said, " This," he lifted the arm the red-haired lady was   
glomping, " Is Soi. And this," he lifted the other arm, " Is Tomo."   
  
" I see..."  
  
" And I have come here because of this flyer which I found in my cape drawer."  
  
Elsewhere, Genbu happily shoved flyers into the closets of random anime characters as Byakko   
took an aspirin.  
  
Seiryu began to process this information. " You found it in your cape drawer?" He paused. Yes,   
he would definitely have a little chat with Genbu and Byakko.   
  
" That's right. It says something about needing warriors for a play."  
  
" A what?" yelled Seiryu, momentarily shocked.  
  
" That's right." He began to read off of the flyer. " Warriors need for theatrical production.   
Costumes included. Please note management takes..."  
  
" No responsibility for what happens in the duration of the play. I.e., loss of limbs or sibling,   
development of new psychosis, and most probably, death." Read Genbu, scrawling on a flyer with   
a huge magic marker. He dropped it into a mailbox and skipped off.  
  
Seiryu ground his teeth and made a strangling motion with his hands. He struggled to maintain his   
composure. Remember the pocky, remember the pocky...nice, crunchy, almond-flavored   
pocky....  
  
" I'm sorry, but you have been misinformed." He started, keeping the soothing thought of   
almonds in his head, " I need you to protect my priestess."  
  
" I see...very well. "  
  
" Do you have any special techniques or abilities?"  
  
Nakago began to list his entire resume, which was at least twenty feet long, since he has powers   
up the wazoo.  
  
" You're in!" shouted Seiryu happily.  
  
" There's a slight catch." said Nakago. " If you take me you also have to take...Soi, Tomo, and   
my pet dog-man."  
  
" Pardon?"  
  
" Well, do you think they'll ever disentangle themselves from my arms?"  
  
Seiryu looked at Soi, who was now clinging to Nakago's shoulders, her legs wrapped around his   
waist, And at Tomo, who was muttering 'Nakago-sama' and cuddling Nakago's arm like a giant   
carnival toy.   
  
" Erm...no. Fine, I'll take them too...hey. Hey! They're drooling on my carpet!"  
  
" You're lucky Ashitare isn't here."  
  
" ...I'm not going to ask. Alright, you got the jobs. Step over to the other room to get your seishi   
symbol tattoos."  
  
" Yahoo! More body decoration!" Tomo yelled, finally letting go of Nakago and rushing over.  
  
" The life I live is sad..." muttered Seiryu, sinking into his chair. 


	2. Insanity Is The Mother Of Inspiration

Who Wants To Be A Seiryu Seishi?  
  
  
Seiryu drummed his fingers on his desk thoughtfully. And when I say 'fingers', I use the term in   
the loosest sense of the word. Okay, he drummed his long, sharp, dragon claws on his desk,   
flinging chips of mahogany across the room to land in the center of the bull's-eye on which he   
had pinned Suzaku's picture.  
  
A chip hit the Suzaku photo in the eye as Seiryu finally moved his coffee cup over the hole in his   
desk. "Next!", he roared, causing the coffee cup to tip over a bit, spilling some of it's contents   
over a magazine called: 'How To Make Your Priestess's Life A Living Hell.'  
  
Alright, he already had...three seishi. One sadist, and two very odd, very obsessed, very neurotic   
people. Oh, and a dog-man. Make that four seishi.  
  
He wondered vaguely if they had remembered to pick up their complementary leash and box of   
snacks. (Ashitare Snacks, they're tragically delicious! In blood, bone, and cherry flavor!)  
  
Anyway, now he had to get some REALLY good people in. He needed them to be strong. He   
needed them to be manly. He needed them to scream 'mess with me and get a razor-sharp flaming   
poker shoved up your arse sideways.'. He needed them to be...  
  
And at that, whatever he was about to think was blown away on the winds of reality as a tiny,   
bald, little man floated into the room. "Hi," he said, "I'm Miboshi, and I'm here about your   
flyer."  
  
Genbu sipped his tropical drink and giggled as Byakko frolicked on the surf. Then he suddenly   
turned and looked straight off into nowhere.  
  
"Oi!" he yelled, " What're you doing switching the scene to me? I had nothing to do with the   
midget!"  
  
The authoress would like to extend her most sincere apologies to the turtle-like deity.  
  
"That's alright."  
  
Elsewhere, a certain dragon god was wondering if auditioning for seishi roles was a really good   
idea.   
  
"Alright," he began, wanting to sound professional about this, " What are your...your quirks?"  
  
Miboshi paused. " All of them?" He asked " I can't remember all of them. I could, of course,   
bring in my psychiatrist...no, never mind. I killed him last Saturday."  
  
Okay, that was good. At least he was crazy enough.   
  
" And do you have any special abilities or powers?"  
  
"Um...I can steal other people's bodies."  
  
" Like Invasion Of The Body-Snatchers?"  
  
" This is ancient China. How can you expect me to know about a movie that plays thousands of   
years after my current body is dust?"  
  
" Well, if that's so, how do you know what a movie is?"  
  
" Um...heh heh. Movie? What is this...movie, of which you speak?" An enormous sweatdrop   
rolled down Miboshi's head. Actually, the sweatdrop would be the actual size of Miboshi's head,   
wouldn't it? So it looks like a giant ear.   
  
Seiryu just stared at him. " We'll discuss this odd tendency to see into the future later. " He   
shuffled some papers, just to look businesslike and important. " You are a creepy little floating   
man. We don't have one of those yet. You're in! Go over to the next room to get your seishi   
tattoo..."  
  
He was interrupted by Tomo yelling, " You want to put my seishi symbol WHERE?"  
  
" Ah, yes...just follow the screams."  
  
Miboshi blinked, then turned and floated out of the room. Seiryu sighed and clutched his head. "   
The Seiryu seven is going down the hole...NEXT!"  
  
Through the door came four men on horses. One was robed in black, his hood shading his face.   
The next was fierce and bloodthirsty, robed in red. The third was thin, looking as if he hadn't   
eaten in days, and he was robed in white. Lastly came a man who looked as if he was not at all   
well. He was muttering about the evils of soap while wringing his green robes.   
  
Seiryu's mouth fell open. " Why...wha-" He struggled to regain his composure. " The four   
horsemen of the apocalypse, correct?"  
  
The horsemen simultaneously nodded.  
  
" Now just wait a minute!" roared Tomo, who had just reentered the room, clinging to Nakago,   
who was rubbing at his brand-new seishi symbol with a grimace. " You're on the wrong horse!"   
  
Pulling at Nakago's arm, he marched over to Death, who was seated on a white horse. " You're   
supposed to be on the black horse!" he yelled.  
  
" I thought the white was supposed to offset the fact that he was a living shadow!" protested Soi.  
  
" No," said Nakago, who had decided to enter the conversation. " he's supposed to be on the red   
horse, because red is the color of blood and blood symbolizes death!"   
  
" Oh for goodness sakes," snapped Miboshi, " Everyone knows that War is supposed to ride the   
red horse! Red is the color of blood, and...a lot of blood is spilled in war!"  
  
" War is supposed to ride the black horse!" yelled Soi. " Because red-on-red would be tacky!"  
  
" Oh, like War is worried about fashion sense!"  
  
" Wait, maybe Death is supposed to ride the pale, sickly, green horse! To symbolize the color of   
corpses!"  
  
" No, you idiot! Pestilence is supposed to ride the green horse! Green is an unhealthy color, and   
that's what you turn when you get sick!  
  
" Pestilence rides the white horse!"  
  
" No he wouldn't, because white is the color of purity and cleanliness and SOAP!"  
  
" Soap..." muttered Pestilence.  
  
" Look, can we all just agree that Death's horse is supposed to be black?"  
  
" White!"  
  
" Black!"  
  
" White!"  
  
" Black!"  
  
" It's purple!" yelled Miboshi, a bit hysterically.  
  
" WHO BLOODY WELL CARES?" roared Seiryu from his desk. He had been turning an   
interesting shade of purple throughout the whole argument. " All I want to know is how they got   
here! And WHY they are here!"  
  
" We got this flyer," said Death, holding out a slightly charred piece of paper.  
  
Byakko cackled insanely and tossed flyers at everyone and everything that came his way.   
"There!" he yelled happily, " No more flyers! No more flyers left! Yahahaha!"  
  
Genbu reached into his shell and brought out another stack, which Byakko looked at in pure   
horror before breaking out into tears, yelling 'NO, OH NO!'  
  
"Is he okay?" asked Pestilence, looking nervously at Seiryu, who was standing before the window   
ranting and yelling, while gesturing wildly with his hands. The words 'strangle!',' maim!',   
'pocky!', and ' FRIGGIN FOUR HORSEMEN!' Could be heard.  
  
"Oh...yes, he should be fine." Said Miboshi, sounding a bit unsure.  
  
" I hope he doesn't do this often." Muttered Soi uneasily.  
  
Finally turning around after a few more yellings of 'ALMONDS!', Seiryu gave a smile that was   
supposed to be pleasant. It looked downright scary. " I'm very sorry," he said through clenched   
teeth. " but I'm afraid we only have room for two more people."  
  
" Oh...that's really too bad," muttered Death, feeling intimidated for the first time in his   
existence.   
  
" We'll be leaving now." Added War.  
  
And with that, they turned and ran out of the room like...well, like an angry dragon god was at   
their heels. He wasn't, actually. No, our poor dragon god was far too busy popping Prozac like   
skittles to worry about anything else.  
  
" Do you think we ought to leave?" Asked Soi, nervously looking at Seiryu, who was still   
popping pills with a grim expression.  
  
" That would probably be a good idea." Agreed Nakago.  
  
And so, they left very quickly and with much haste, leaving Seiryu alone to ponder upon his   
enormous headache.   
  
" I want my Mommy," muttered Seiryu, slumping in his chair and banging his head against the   
desk.  
  
Somewhere in the cosmos, The Mother Of All Gods sneezed. " Someone's gathering seishi   
again..."  
  
Bang. "Ninety-six."  
  
Bang. "Ninety-seven."  
  
Bang. "Ninety-eight."  
  
Seiryu lifted his head from the desk, his eyes bloodshot. "Ninety-nine." He let his head drop onto   
the desk on more time. " One hundred."  
  
" You are pathetic." Came an amused observation from the door.  
  
" Shut up Suzy." Seiryu murmured, not bothering to lift his head.   
  
" I have only one seishi left, Salamander. I suggest you get moving quick."  
  
"Get out before I kick you out." Seiryu raised his head from the desk. " But before you go, I   
would appreciate some aspirin."  
  
And somewhere, out there in anime-land, Suboshi raised his head. " Hey, Amiboshi." He said,   
nudging his brother awake.  
  
" Mm...what?"  
  
" My spider sense is tingling."  
  
" Get back to sleep, you moron." 


	3. The End

Who Wants To Be A Seiryu Seishi?  
  
  
  
White and blue candles flickered peacefully, arranged in a circle on the floor. A dragon shaped   
incense burner wafted sandalwood scented smoke through the room, and a pile of empty aspirin   
bottles were arranged artfully on the desk.  
  
Seiryu cursed as he tried to twist himself into a lotus position. " I am at peace with myself and   
the Universe," he chanted. " I am a god and need not be completely stressed out. I am at peace   
with myself and-"  
  
The door clanged open, and Genbu ran in, laughing and throwing flyers at everything. He was   
soon followed by Byakko, who was wielding an enormous mallet and yelling: " That's it! Now   
you DIE!" The two ran around the room several times, and then whooshed right back out through   
the door, slamming it shut.   
  
The aspirin bottle pyramid trembled, then collapsed, sending a rain of bottles onto Seiryu's head.  
  
He blinked once. Twice. Then he melted into a whimpering mound of god. "All I ever wanted   
was some decent seishi!" he whimpered, " And a priestess! That's all! It's not fair dammit, it's   
not faiiiiiiir…." He went on for a long, long while.  
  
Elsewhere, on some random mountain, our favorite twins were just starting their day.   
  
"And what, dear brother," asked Amiboshi through gritted teeth, " Are you planning today?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
"Nothin', eh? I suppose you packed eighty bags of sugar and a rubber ducky for no reason?"  
  
"Well…"  
  
" And what is that thing in your hand?"  
  
" It's a flyer."  
  
Seiryu glared at the picture of Suzaku on his dartboard. It slowly melted, and then burst into   
flame with a little 'poof'. Stress dealt with, Seiryu turned towards the door and tried to gather   
together the pieces of his shattered mind.   
  
" Next!"  
  
A man with long white hair, yellow eyes, and claw-like nails glided through the doorway and   
started laughing evilly.  
  
" What's so funny?" asked Seiryu suspiciously. Geez, the guy had 'villain' stamped in bright red   
ink all over him.  
  
The man looked sheepish. " Sorry," he said apologetically," It's just…sometimes…I get this urge   
to let out an evil laugh. Even if the situation really isn't that funny. I get kicked out of a lot of   
weddings."  
  
" Why do you have the word 'villain' stamped all over you in bright red ink?"  
  
" Would you believe I got attacked by two blond, sugar-wielding twins on the way here?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Oh well. Anyway, I'm here…"  
  
" Oh no, let me guess. You found a flyer in some odd and random place somewhere about your   
house or on your person."  
  
" No, actually I'm the janitor. But I'm sick of cleaning out the toilets and washing lipstick off the   
mirrors-"   
  
" Hey!" yelled Suzaku from the next room.  
  
" So I've decided to try for this seishi job. By the way my name is Tenkou."  
  
" Amiboshi…" Suboshi said lovingly, surrounded by millions of sparkly hearts and stars.  
  
" Suboshi…" muttered Amiboshi, also looking as though he had just taken a short trip to a glitter   
factory.  
  
" Amiboshi…"  
  
" Suboshi…"  
  
" Amiboshi…Oh, I give up. It doesn't sound as impressive as Tamahome and Miaka, anyway."  
  
"Want some more sugar?"   
  
"So…Tenkou." Said Seiryu, staring at the new arrival. " Tell me what you think you can offer the   
Seiryu seishi. Have you any weird quirks besides the evil laughter thing?"  
  
" Well, first of all…I want to rule the world!" he declared, eyes glittering manically.  
  
Seiryu paused. " Um…I'm sorry, we have one of those already. Anything else?"  
  
Tenkou looked taken aback. "Um…have really cool hair and eyes. Look, they're all slanted and   
evil looking!"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"And…uh…I have many powers at my disposal…"  
  
"Like?"  
  
"…I can destroy stuff. With my fingers."  
  
"Sorry, I don't think we need another blatantly evil guy."  
  
"Wh-what?" Tenkou stuttered, eyes wide. "But...but…ARGH!" He stomped one foot on the floor   
and pouted. " FINE! Be that way! I don't you and your stupid seishi opening! I'm gonna be a   
GOD, and make MY OWN seishi!" He then stormed out of the room and slammed the door, and   
a slightly overdone plot was formed.   
  
And so was forged the Fushigi Yugi OVA.  
  
"I've got hands." Stated Suboshi in awe.  
  
"Me too," said Amiboshi, staring at them. He flexed his fingers. "That is a marvelous concept."  
  
"Hands," said Suboshi, and then both of them continued to eat sugar as they made their way   
towards the job interviews.  
  
"Next!" Roared Seiryu.  
  
In came a man wearing an immaculate suit and a pair of blood-red sunglasses. A desk seemed to   
magically appear in front of him and he clasped white gloved hands in front of his face and then   
simply sat and stared.   
  
Seiryu felt oddly intimidated. "Erm…hello…" Was it just him, or was this guy *creepy*?   
"Um…what do you think you can offer the Seiryu seishi?"  
  
The man just kept his hands clasped in front of his face.   
  
Seiryu stared at him.  
  
The man stared back.  
  
Finally, he spoke. " You are a disappointment," he said, then rose to his feet and left the room.  
  
Seiryu stood there in a state of silent shock for a long while. " What the HELL?"  
  
Genbu stalked through the city of Tokyo 3, attacking random buildings as he did so. "CANDY!",   
he roared, while scattering flyers around, "I WANT CAAAANDY!"  
  
"I must not run away…" muttered Shinji.  
  
And the gods of sugar were very, very amused.  
  
Unlike a certain dragon god, who was feeling very homicidal and very suicidal at the moment.   
Drastic times called for drastic measures. He opened the secret compartment in his desk, pulled   
an intricate series of strings, undid several knots, fed the ravaging guard hamsters of death, and   
finally reached a small iron safe, from which he pulled out…  
  
A Suzaku plushie.  
  
With a manic look in his eyes, he took the plushie in one hand and grabbed up a handful of pins   
with the other.   
  
"You," he raved, staring at the stuffed toy and positioning a pin right over its heart. "This is all   
your fault! You and your accursed 'let's play Priestess Chess' idea! Well, you know were you can   
put that idea, Suzy? HERE!"  
  
And with that he jammed the pin through the Suzaku doll, pinning it to the desk.  
  
"And THIS is for your stupid nicknames!"  
  
WHAM  
  
"And this is for putting laxatives in my aspirin!"  
  
POINK  
  
"AND THIS IS FOR…"  
  
And Seiryu continued to ram pins into the plushie, while yelling exactly what Suzaku did to   
deserve the beating.  
  
Meanwhile, the twins had finally gotten over their sugar high, and Suboshi and Amiboshi were   
back to their normal selves.  
  
"Blood," Amiboshi chanted, holding a sword in the air, "I must have BLOOD to avenge the   
murder of my family."  
  
"No, no, big brother!" Suboshi pleaded, giving his twin a pleading look, "You simply mustn't   
give in to your violent urges like that! We should all love one another!"  
  
Wait, what do you mean, I got their personalities switched? You mean they're not usually   
like…Oh, sod it all.   
  
Well, anyway…  
  
"Now, I want you to behave," said Amiboshi sternly. "No throwing those yo-yos of yours around,   
no killing off people's families, and no hitting on any short-haired blonde in sight."  
  
"Aw…" Moaned Suboshi. "But that was an accident, last time in Qu-Dong Fried Chicken! I   
really didn't mean to hit all those other people…"  
  
"Just the one, hmm?"  
  
"Yes! Exactly!" Suboshi paused. "I mean, no. Of course I didn't mean to harm or injure anyone. I   
am a pacifist." With that, he turned around and pretended to choke.  
  
"Good. Remember, this is a GOD we're having an interview with, and gods are solemn and   
imposing, and…"  
  
Amiboshi opened the door.  
  
Seiryu was sprawled on top of his desktop, mutilating the Suzaku plushie, which already looked   
like a small porcupine, while raving and yelling incoherently. He wore a headdress of bright red   
feathers, and had what looked like crimson lipstick scrawled across his face. "ALMONDS!" he   
yelled, then turned towards the door, looking straight at the twins.  
  
They blinked.  
  
He blinked.  
  
Wind swept through the office, carrying a tumbleweed, which was immediately grabbed up by   
Ashitere to use as a chew toy.  
  
Seiryu was the first to speak. "Um."  
  
"So," said Amiboshi. "Flyer."  
  
"Job interview," said Suboshi, not know if he should burst into hysterical laughter or run away   
and never come back.  
  
Seiryu slid onto his chair and tried to look solemn. "So, do you have any quirks, eccentricies, or   
homicidal/suicidal tendencies?"  
  
"I like to kill people!" said Suboshi, sounding quite cheerful about it. "I have nifty yo-yo   
weapons and they make people BLEED."  
  
"I keep telling him to get a psychiatrist," remarked Amiboshi gloomily, "But he never listens."  
  
Seiryu looked at Amiboshi dubiously. "Do you have any quirks?"  
  
"Oh, sure I do! I can make people go insane or die by listening to my flute music."  
  
"So, you're a really bad flute player?" Asked Seiryu incredulously.  
  
"No. I'm a really GOOD flute player! Anyone can make good music. It takes talent to have   
people actually die from listening to your flute playing."  
  
"Uh-huh. Well, I can't take this anymore, and you two sound crazy enough. You're in. Get your   
seishi tattoos over in the next room and leave me alone."  
  
"Woohoo! And mom said we'd have to wait until we were thirty to get our first tattoo!" yelled   
Suboshi, pulling his brother into the tattoo room and slamming the door behind them.  
  
Seiryu collapsed onto his desk. "Oi…"  
  
In a different auditioning room, Suzaku lay twitching on the ground. "Stupid salamander and his   
stupid voodoo," he ranted, "Just for that, I'll make my priestess really annoying and really   
indestructible. That'll show him. Heh heh heh."  
  
And in the distance, Genbu and Byakko could be seen doing the macerena. 


End file.
